Conversations About Weddings

This little piece centres on a conversation about a wedding that turned into a minor diplomatic incident.

During many, many lockdowns, I had many, many strange conversations on Zoom. One of these took place during a deathly-hallows Christmas that echoed with the memory of my sister's wedding.

I called up this memory for a woman I was speaking to on Zoom, a contact from the world of business. I recalled how we stood on the dancefloor with champagne glasses, ushering in a bold new decade.

The Conversation

"So, your sister and her husband have been married a year?" she said.

Then…

"Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed your sister married a man."

Photo Description: A bride and groom sit opposite each other, at a red table. They are holding hands. She has flowers in her hair and he wears a blue suit.

"Don't be an eejit," I said. "Sure, the vast majority of marriages are between women and men."

She pursed her lips.

"Well, you can't be too careful these days."

Well, yes, you can be too careful.

Two Wedding Facts

Two facts presented themselves to me.

Fact One: In 2019, the year my sister married, 20,389 weddings too place. Of these, 664 were same-sex marriages. Even my wonky maths tells me that the woman's assumption was more than 90% accurate.

Fact Two: my sister married a man.

So, why would I waste energy being offended? And why did this woman waste her energy worrying about offending me? Assuming that my sister married a man is one thing.

Assuming offence on my behalf – well, that's another matter.

If you've any thoughts about this little moral minefield, please share them with me. Feel free to disagree with me; I won't like it, but it's good for my moral fibre. You can email derbhile@writewordseditorial.ie or phone 0876959799.