People Who Steal Jugs From Cafés...

... there's a special place in hell for them.

I ordered a cup of tea in a café with beautiful crockery. Proper china teapot, matching sea-green mugs – and a matching sea green milk jug, moulded into an attractive shape.

As I drank, I heard the staff ask each other how many of the milk jugs had been nicked that week. Yes, it’s a depressing fact of café society – people help themselves to pieces of a café’s cutlery and crockery.

Milk jugs, latte spoons and cups disappear into bags and coat pockets. In the days when cafés supplied newspapers, people walked out with papers under their arms. And it’s not just small items either. Most decent sized handbags can fit a teapot.

Crime Doesn’t Pay

People think it’s a victimless crime. Sure, it’s only one – they won’t miss it. But it isn’t just one. It’s four or five in a week. And every one of those items have to be replaced, at some expense, nibbling holes in already tight profit margins.

Eventually, the café decides not to bother giving their customers nice ware if they’re going to nick it, or as Bart Simpson would say, yoink it. So, they go back to metal teapots, boring white mugs and those weenchy thimble sized milk jugs.

I Stole A Glass

I’m in a glasshouse, so I can’t throw stones. I did steal a glass once, and karma gave me a sharp rap on the shoulder. I was on my annual ski trip in Germany and I stole one of those hourglass shaped beer glasses.

Photo by Jon Parry on Unsplash

Photo Description: The pic shows different types of German beer glass on a wooden table. The one that’s second from the right looks most like the one I stole, with the hourglass shape and the heavy base.

I thought it would be handy as a prop for a Toastmasters speech I was giving about the ski trip. When I came home, I delivered the speech and the glass went down a treat.

Afterwards, in the bar, I set down the bag which contained the glass – and it crunched against a table leg that had been lying in wait, smashing the glass into shards.

So, the next time you spot a pretty milk jug at a café, think before you yoink.