The Five Commandments of Kind Café Owners
I dish out half-baked opinions about how kindness is the secret to the success of cafés.
Tis a tough business running a café these days. No-one denies that. Café owners are squeezed in every direction, but some of them pass on that squeeze to their customers. I’ve heard a few tales about this kind of squeezing that make me one to gouge out my eyeballs with one of those wooden stirrers cafés give you instead of spoons.
If you want to hold onto your customers, you’ve got to be kind. Sounds trite, but kindness goes a long way. I’ve come up with five commandments for kind café owner, inspired by these tales of squeezing and my own experience. Here’s a flavour of them (bad pun alert.)
Thou Shalt Treat All Orders Equal
I know it must be a pain when a customer comes in at lunchtime and orders a coffee. Or two people come in and order a sandwich to share, and then don’t leave. But that is still no reason to consign them to an outside table, or to banish them, thrusting a takeaway coffee at them.
The far-sighted café owner welcomes these customers with open arms. They know that today’s coffee could be tomorrow’s giant lunch order. They also know that this happy customer will tell their friends – but tell more of their friends if they’re sent away with a flea in their ear.
Thou Shalt Pay Attention to Solo Customers
Going into a café on your own can be a slightly lonely experience even for the most self-sufficient. It doesn’t help matters when you walk in and a waiter says, ‘Just yourself, is it?’ Or when you take your seat in a quiet café and the two staff behind the counter carry on their carry on chatting as if the customer isn’t there.
It’s true that some people want to be left alone, and you have to be skilled at gauging the mood. But if a customer engages you in small talk when they arrive, chances are they’ll enjoy a chat while they’re eating or drinking.
Again, it sounds very hallmark card, but your chat with them could be the only chat they have that day, which makes it all the more precious.
This is Molly’s Café, the very kind café in West Cork where I gave a performance of People Wipe Me. There are three big, comfortable arnchairs around a table, on a white tiled floor. One of them is red and the other two are brown.
Thou Shalt Not Bunt Thy Customers Out The Door
Again, I can appreciate that it’s annoying when customers have been at one of your tables for more than an hour, their empty plates in front of them, and they’re not budging. But it’s still not a great idea to barrel up to them, break their conversational thread and snatch up their plates.
There are ways of nudging people so they’ll get the message for themselves. A polite ‘Sorry to interrupt,’ a quick bit of banter as you take up the plates. Or even just picking up the plates while they chat. The clattering sound will alert them. If you let your customers decide when to go themselves, they won’t leave with a bad taste in their mouth (bad pun alert.)
Thou Shalt Make Thy Menus Readable
I’m not just talking about accessibility for the wonky eyed, though that is part of the mix. I have the warmest feelings for café owners who don’t sacrifice legibility at the altar of sustainability.
I love cafés whose menus are clearly laid out, with no fancy or coloured lettering, no QR codes, and who don’t shove all the menu items onto one page or put them on a blackboard just out of reach.
Thou Shalt Listen To Thy Customers
‘Chocolate on your cappuccino?’ asks the server as I give my order.
‘Yes, please,’ I reply.
‘Chocolate on your cappuccino?’ she says again, as she makes the drink.
‘Yes, please,’ I reply.
And then when it’s time to pay, she says, ‘Sorry, did you say you wanted chocolate on your cappuccino?’
I know cafés are noisy places, with lots of pots boiling (bad pun alert.) But don’t force your customers to repeat themselves.
It’s important for you beleaguered café owners to know that you bring a lot of comfort and cheer to people, and your kindness counts.
Before I go, just a small correction. The Minding Creative Minds conference that I mentioned in Monday’s newsletter is not actually free; there’s a small fee of €10.