I went to a coffee networking event last week. It was full of the buzz of women chatting and making connections, as these events tend to be. But even when an event is informal, there’s always a helpful nugget of information on offer to help you boost your confidence – a treasured quality in the business world.
One of the women, a healer and therapist, chatted to us about the importance of forming good habits and rituals for networking, of developing a mindset and preparing in a way that takes the squirm factor out of it.
I mentioned that I played a particular song to help me prepare for events like these. (In case you’re interested, it’s Massive Attack’s Unfinished Sympathy.) People were wicked impressed by that, which gave me a lovely little ego boost.
While the healer talked, I became aware of the music piping from speakers on the wall. I grew fierce excited when Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill came on, one of the three songs I used to pump myself up for performing my show, People Wipe Me.
‘There’s one of the songs I use to psych myself up,’ I blurted out.
A silence fell, a silence with a needle running through it.
‘Bet you didn’t even notice there was music playing,’ I said.
The needle sharpened.
‘Well, I did notice it earlier,’ said one of the women.
The speaker rescued the situation.
‘It makes sense that you’d notice the music, because that’s what you tune into.’
Photo Description: A picture of blue soundwaves on a black background.
I had likely committed one of two errors. Interrupting the speaker – fair enough. And calling the others out for not noticing the music. Which in certain lights could seem judgy.
And I can’t lie – there was a part of me thinking, oh, you sighted people - you’re way too busy looking.
When people hear that I’m missing a layer of visual detail, their first reaction is empathy. They think I’m missing the richness of life. But visually impaired people replace those missing layers with layers of sound, particularly music.
It’s not a given that all visually impaired people will love music, or play it. But we’re more likely to pay attention to it. Try playing Beat the Intro with a group of visually impaired people and you’ll soon see. On the lift coming down from the slopes one day on this year’s ski trip, we were human Shazams*.
Later that night, in a kitsch bar, another game of Beat the Intro turned into a lively, sometimes heated chat about musical tastes and memories. I hammed up my horror of medleys. One of the ski guides shared his memories of grooving to rock and roll in dancehalls of Belfast - some of the happiest moments of his life. It was a mighty night.
The speaker was right. We all tune into what’s important to us. We all miss layers of detail in some parts of our lives, because we’re concentrating on the details that matter to us.
In the case of these women, it was opportunities to connect, or to ask the right questions, or to wear a dress that gave them confidence. All details have their own value.
*Shazam is an app that tells you the name of a song that’s playing in the background at a shop or restaurant, or on the radio.