We Need To Talk About Biscuits...

... every other topic is a minefield.

There are so many worthy topics I could have discussed at the book launch I went to last week. Palestine. Climate Change. Trans Rights. The Far Right. All topics that artists are expected to engage with in these ‘interesting’ times.

Instead, I focused on the excellent quality of the biscuits on offer.

When I try to discuss these hot potato topics, my opinions come out half-baked. But there’s nothing half-baked about biscuits – literally. The original French meaning of the word biscuit is twice cooked.

The Quality of Biscuits

I devoted my attention to the wondrous biscuits that Waterford Writers kindly supplied for the launch of their anthology (available in the Book Centre, Waterford – just saying!) . There were biscuits wrapped in gold foil – oooh, luxury.

Biscuits covered in dark chocolate, with a hidden layer of orange. Biscuits in lurid childhood colours. And biscuits with nuggets of chocolate dotted throughout.

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

Photo Description: This is a stack of chocolate chip biscuits with creamy centres. Warning, may induce drooling.

Why don’t we talk more about biscuits? Even when we do talk about biscuits, and other food, the talk is laden down with words like intolerance, processed, obesity.

Debating About Biscuits

I’m in no way qualified to talk about trans rights or Palestine, but I am well qualified to give my opinion on the chocolate Kimberley. It’s a travesty of a biscuit – what sane person would want to smother that fluffy, gingery biscuit in chocolate?

And I can debate on whether the Viennese Whirl is a biscuit or a cake. I know it’s sold as a cake, but to me it’s a biscuit and always will be.

The only resistance I’m really interested in is whether I can in fact resist the pull of a full-moon Jaffa Cake.

It may seem flippant to some, but to me, talking about biscuits is the only sane response to a world that feels bleak and absurd.

I’d love you to share your favourite biscuits with me. I know Substack makes you do all this complicated sign-in crap when you try to leave a comment.

So, just email me on derbhile@writewords.ie instead. And you can feel free to defend the chocolate Kimberley.